I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
