I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
