The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
