i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
