I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
