let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
