"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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