I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
