: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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