i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
