WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
