Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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