I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
