Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
