wake up i wanna do it froggy style
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
