i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
