It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
