It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
