I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
