Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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