IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
