We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
