Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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