so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
