i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
