So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all Iβm wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesdayβs nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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