I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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