She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
