i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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