i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
