i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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