I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
