so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
