new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
