i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
