Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
