So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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