Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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