Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
