I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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