Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Swine flu. Run for my life!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
