How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
