You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
