great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
