So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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