this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
