Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
are you so shy because you have an std?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
