im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
