babies were throwing up all over the place
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
