Do you still have your period?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
