dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
